My dear diary.

I kept a diary sporadically, from when I was 10 to 19. I totally forgot about it and left it my bedroom in my mom's appt back home. About six month's ago she moved house, found my diary and read it. She then called me to tell me that she had found and read it, couldn't believe I had never told her i'd kept one and then started crying because of all the things that happened to me that she never knew about. So, I decided that all in all, leaving a paper trail lying around your moms house with your deepest darkest secrets on was never the best idea.
Instead this is my solution, its secret and I can say whatever the hell I like without fear of being judged, or more specifically, my mum reading it.

Thursday 16 September 2010

I love this song.

Nightmares.

I don't know where I picked up this informationg, but somebody once told me that not many people remember their dreams, yet people who had creative minds did. I almost always remember my dreams, they are so real sometimes it scares me....
I normally have three types of dreams, firstly I will re-dream my day for example....or re-dream a situation that happened. So I may have gone shopping, chatted to friend...gone home and went to bed...in my dream it will be the exact same sequence of events except a vital detail changes, like I have an argument with someone or I lose something or I didn't do something that in real life I did. I wake up in a panic and often it takes me several minutes to determine the truth from reality.
The second type of dream I have are my crazy dreams. Completely unrealistic chains of events, if i have a guilty conscience woa do I pay for it in my dreams for example. My boyfriend says that my dreams are so mad I should write them down......and now I have a blog I think I will.
The third and worst are my nightmares, horrific and terrifying things happen to me and people around me in those dreams and more often than not I wake up crying....sobbing to myself.
Is this normal.....??? Just down to over reactive imagination or something different?
For years people have believed in the importance of dreams, I wonder how they would read mine.

hahaha this made me laugh

VAUGHAN SYSTEMS - and the bitch who definitely did not love me

So, I'm new to Madrid, I don't speak Spanish and I need a job. Naturally, having graduate from a top University in London with a god degree, teaching English was never even a thought, however, it pays well and is it's my language and un-employment rate is Spain is ridiculously low at 25%....it was a logical step.
So I do my research and find that Vaughan systems pays the highest and is one of the biggest companies teaching English in Spain, at 20 euros an hour you can't realy complain.
Next step.......I send in my CV and take an interview.
I had my interview with lovely Marta Martinez, who works in recruitment and training.
Vaughan systems teaches its only stye of teaching called the "Vaughan method" where basically the whole class is taught orally and there is minimal writing.
Marta informs me that if successful I will cmmence on a weeks training programe where you spend the morning in training casses learning there method then five hours in the afternppn teaching practice classes where the students attend for free and return right a report about the teacher after every class. The reports are made up of 10 question's about the teachers ability methods etc which the student must grade between 1 - 6 and at the bottom write negative and positive comments.
The following Monday I started my training. I had previously met a girl from back home who had also done the training, she had warned me that it was really really tough. They work you hard and expect you to do three hours of home work a night.....I said fine I'm game. She aso mentioned that if you were a minute late, didn't do your homework got bad marks they would tell you to go home there and then.
Marta had also warned me of this...........the minute you do something wrong.....we will warn you and then your out.
So I start my training......everything is going wel I'm early, I'm doing my home work really well and i'm paying attention and really concentrating. The four other people in my group who were also training were al lovely and working just as hard. Over the next few days to my surprise I stat attaining really really good reports from students in class. In fact they - bloody love me!
BUT there's anther girl works with Marta, the complete bitch Natasha. She's Australian, she's fat, she has long straggly hair and a wierd Jaw and really bad teeth. Worse than her physical appearance though - she's one of those people, and this is the type of person who I hate more than anything. She pretends to be something she's not. It's ike if your a bitch, that's fine, but don't try and act like a lovely soft sweet heart whe your really a nasty spiteful and agressive cow. Marta for example, typically Spanish and really hot too, you can tell shes the kind of girl that says it how it is, I love that - it's honest.
natasha however,I get a wierd feeling about her, ofcourse I'm sweet and smile etc.....but there is just something that I feel is not quite right - also the fact that Marta folows her around like her little lap dog is just bewildering. Maybe Natasha has worked here longer - who knows.
So on the fourth day, I have my training, I have my feed back, I have my classes, Marta tels me how well I'm doing, no complaints, all 5's and ^'s while the others are getting 3, 4's and 5's. I do my last 5 hour teaching block and then just as I'm about to walk out the door incomes running Marta and Ntasha like a pair of giggling girls at school.
"I'm afraid we have some bad news" says Marta.....I though shit...here we go.......Natasha jumped in and proceeded to tell me that they won't ask me to come back tomorrow because they feel i have "doubts" about the style of teaching. In utter shock I manage to mumble...."OK... ur thanks.." at which they walk out.
In utter shock I walk across the corridor into the classroom where one of fellow trainees had just finshed teaching....at which point the other 3 piled into the room. When I told them my shock announcement.....they didn't believe me.....why? why? why?...why? I thought....I was so shocked I hadn't even bothered to ask...go and ask they said....
So I pulled my self together and walked into the office where I said "Marta, I'm sorry I was so shocked and I didn't even manage to ask why?"
Ofcourse Natasha jumps up.....and said I can explain lets go into a room...there she tells me that I doubted the method......I grew a little more confident....nothing to lose now.... tell me how....an example....anything....
She got angry...."It's my decidion and I will make it when and how I want" Natasha you bitch I thought. I looked to Marta, nothing......this obviously wasn't your idea....and seeing as you have nothing to say I'm guessing you probably don't agree along side with the praise you gave me today. So I said..."what you mean is...you don't like me?" she simply nodded and said "yes".

I walked outside....burst into tears....and chain smoked 6 cigarettes.
Complete bitch!!!!
She obviously had a personal problem with me....which is so frustrating because I had worked so hard and done so well......as my mother said....there's always one.....jealous, bitter...bored whatever.
2 minutes later my phone rings.....It' the rival company Astex asking me to come in for an interview the following Friday....isn't life strange...

Milenium Trilogy....

I have recently read the Milenium trilogy, The girl with the dragon tattoo, The girl who played with fire and the The girl who kicked the hornet's nest. I have to say I thought they were brilliant! The main character, the heroin, is neither beautiful of popular or fabulously covertable, she's actually social awkward and not conventionally beautiful even thought she does arouse attention from men. She's also bi. I don't know why but I couldn't put them down. They are a bit mad but very very enjoyable. Also because they are written by a suede and also based in Sweden...a lot of the contextual material is hard to associate with and can drag on a bit....however I definitely recommend them, and if your like me who can't stop whilst I'm reading a good book, I would sUggest clearing a whole weekend and stocking up the fridge.

Sunday 12 September 2010

Madrid heat.

I moved to Madrid in June fresh out of Uni.
Highlights:
Standard - weather!
Food - can't really beat it!

Time schedule - Lunch late, dinner later - and this amazing concept of napping. Where as in England you kind of feel guilty if you sleep in the day, it's total cool here.

People - Spaniards are really nice and really polite, even though it's fairly common for people to be absolute tossers when it comes to public transport, particularly when using the metro (Tube) people actually stand back and let you on first and stuff!.
Also it's sooo multi cultural....I have met so many people from all over the shop who are here to work, erasmus study etc....

The city is beautiful no doubt about it......all the buildings are amazing! It's so refreshing to walk in streets with works of art towering over you.

Meeting CLive Owen in Pacha

Sitting outside - all the time - in one of the thousands of terraces and eating and drinking.
Dancing - everybody - men especially - have this uncanny talent on the dancing field. They all seem to Flamenco experts.

Shopping - has everything and anything! Including many small shops in La Latina, with the best leather bags I have ever seen, satchels, clutches, big ones small ones and all quite cheap!
Road trips - in the same time you can go from Birmingham to Newcastle, you can go from Madrid to San sebastian - which is awesome and has THE best burgers I have ever tasted. Ever.

Popularity - Unsurprisingly really that since moving here I have been over loaded with visitors.
Everyones really fit - like naturally beaut.

Chilled - compared to London, Madrid is super chilled.....every body is cool and laid back and its a leisurely pace.....rather than full speed ahead. Where living in London I was constantly on the go - always rushing - here you can take your time.

The fact that you can go to many bars - order a drink and get a free plate of food is also fantabulous.......

Madrid white night - soooo cool. I have never seen so many people in the streets.......with giant twister, super mario projected onto buildings....2000 people in a plaza playing with beach balls and giant swings.......ammmaaaaazzziinnggggg......

When Spain won the world cup - well.....needless to say really it was ridiculous.

Low Lights:
It's such a shame that it has no beach.....if you don't have access to a pool in Summer your gonna die.

The fact that in July....it was so SO so hot....that you couldn't sleep without the air con on full blast. I actually resorted to positioning a giant electric fan directly beside my bed.

The fact they don't drink fresh milk - it's that UHT stuff which is rank.

You can't get Ribena bloody anywhere - I had to bring four bottles over in my suitcase on my last trip to London.

The lack of kettles - also a cup of hot milk with a tea bag in it is just not cool.

If I was a brand...what brand would I be?


If I was a brand I would be Miu Miu. As the sister of Prada, Miu Miu as a brand still carries quality assurance with branding, style and elegance, however with its bright colours, non-conventional designs and use of different materials miu miu has a more funkier, creative and bolder edge. Like Miu Miu I too have an Oder sister who represents Prada, and whilst I adhere to the same qualities, elegance, substance, confidence etc I like to think that I have a more non-conformative edge that makes me different, a little more colourful and a little more creative.